View Full Version : Twas the Month After Christmas

12-24-2010, 08:50 AM
Twas the month after Christmas!

Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The biscuits Id nibbled, the champagne Id taste
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber)
Id remember the marvellous meals Id prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way Id never said, No thank you, please.
As I dressed myself in my partners old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt
I said to myself, as only I can
You cant spend all summer disguised as a man!

So-away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
Every last bit of the food that I like must be banished
Til all the additional ounces have vanished.
I wont have a biscuit not even a lick.
Ill want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I wont have hot scones, or cake, or fruit pie,
Ill munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

Im hungry. Im lonesome, and life is a bore
But isnt that what January is for?
Unable to laugh, no longer a riot
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!


12-24-2010, 09:14 AM
way cute bambi!

12-24-2010, 09:27 AM
Haha...great one B!

12-24-2010, 09:37 AM
nice one Bambi :thumbup:

12-24-2010, 10:20 AM
Hahahahaha!!! LMAO! I definitely have to share this with my wife. Awesome!