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Michaelaw
03-03-2009, 12:54 AM
Chances are it's been up here already but I'll take em...I thought it was funny:D


The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat "
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um... equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too heavy to be held in the hand very long."
With that, Mrs. Smith fainted.

mindforge
03-03-2009, 12:58 AM
That was a good.

jjeling
03-03-2009, 01:11 AM
that was quite entertaining

Ben H
03-03-2009, 05:37 AM
Boom tish!

Travis
03-03-2009, 10:40 AM
haven't seen that one..... funny....


kinda makes me jealous of you fella's with the big canons....

tomorrowstreasures
03-03-2009, 10:54 AM
Canon :0)

jjeling
03-03-2009, 10:58 AM
someones got a case of the millimeter peter. 18mm or 500mm, guess it depends on the subject huh? hahahahaha

mindforge
03-03-2009, 11:06 AM
I've got a super zoom. I can go from 70mm to 300mm in a second.

Ben H
03-03-2009, 11:07 AM
I've got a Point & Shoot.


(sorry!)

jjeling
03-03-2009, 11:51 AM
As long as you dont have a full frame camera, you are really getting 450mm out of those things! I guess the new age does have its benefits!

Travis
03-03-2009, 12:27 PM
I've got a Point & Shoot.


(sorry!)

LMAO


sometimes times it's best to keep it simple

Lovin
03-06-2009, 10:40 PM
This is freakin' hilarious : Bil Cosby on Jay Leno show, talking about his experience with a Cobra Shelby, in late 60's.

http://s164.photobucket.com/albums/u32/Roush03/?action=view&current=BillCosbyTalksAboutCobra.flv

Enjoy it !

PS: the image quality is not so good, but it's ok, you hear and see ok.

edbayani11
03-07-2009, 01:17 AM
have you heard this one?

husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. a few minutes later a blind man joins them. when the bus arrives, they find it already overloaded so only the wife and nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
so the husband and the blind man decides to walk. after a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk and says to him, "why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick. that ticking sound is driving me crazy."
the blind man replies, "if you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick,- we'd be riding the bus, so why don't you shut up!"