Considering you were using flash, you did very well with this character study/portrait.
As is often the case, your framing was too tight, cutting off the ear and the edge of the hat. People need room to breath. The eyes would be better looking straight rather than up and the light/flash is distracting and needs to be reduced, particularly in the eye at the right. I would slightly brighten the whole image to bring up separation between the face and the hat, and the hat and the background. I would also bring up some colour in the eye and separation between the iris and the rest of the pupil. The skin of the face is a little reddish which I would try to reduce a little as well as cloning out the reflection of the flash on the end of the nose.
When it comes to portraits, the minutest detail is important to the overall quality and effect.
Tegan


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