A New Year's Resolution...Four Months Early

[PeterToronto]

Greetings guys

Some of you may be wondering why I'm publishing a post about New Year's Resolutions exactly four months before January 1st? I'll admit, that on the surface, it seems odd. We still have one third of the year remaining after all. Well, I believe that you'll need four months to internalize, to seriously consider, to muster up the strength, and to hopefully actualize what I'm going to suggest.

At some point in your life, you must have heard the following time tested saying: "You're only as good as the company you keep". My New Year's Day routine is based on this saying. People who know me well have occasionally said that my New Year's Day tradition is somewhat ruthless, but I have been following it successfully for the last number of years...and my life is better as a result of it.

When I first started five years ago, I looked through my phone book (today I look through my listing of digital contacts), and I deleted anyone that did not improve my life, or anyone that failed to make me a better person. If they were overly dramatic, or unappreciative, or unrealistically demanding, I deleted them from my contacts. That simple act ended my relationship with them for good. I'm pleased to report that over the last few years it has become significantly easier, with fewer deletions with every subsequent year. Only one person got the preverbal axe last year. The first year really is the hardest, because we grow attached to our relationships...even the bad ones. With those cuts, you do come to a realization of how many people you carried in your life that did nothing more than bring you down.

This leads me to my point, as it relates to photography. Many photographers today are active participants in online photography forums like this one. I'm sure we signed on with these forums originally because of the valuable advice, the constructive criticism and feedback, and the fantastic camaraderie. However, there are many unproductive, negative, and juvenile members of photography forums, yet we still accept them into our own personal fold. Have they done anything to better and enrich your photography, and your life for that matter, in the last twelve months? If the answer is no, block them, or "ignore" them.

Give this some thought over the next couple of months. This isn't something that you should jump right into, so that's why I've given you four months of lag time. Lastly, I say this somewhat tongue in cheek, but I hope that my message here has not provoked many of you to unsubscribe to my website all of a sudden.

For the record, I have found the vast majority of the users here to be very decent people who respect that we are all working at different levels of proficiency. You're a classy group of users. Kudos guys!

Peace
Peter

peter anthony PHOTOGRAPHY - Home

[Marko]

Interesting thoughts Peter. As the Admin of this friendly group I'd like to offer up a varying point of view.
There is is great joy in giving without expecting anything in return, and many members subscribe to this philosophy. In addition, when you teach/share your own knowledge is usually strengthened, so you ARE getting something in return.

Obviously is someone is bringing you down with rude comments, or bad attitude block them.

But if they are not 'bothering' you, blocking them because you feel they are giving you 'nothing' might well be shortsighted. Just my two cents.

[PeterToronto]

Hi Marko

I totally agree with you, and I believe that we are on the same page here. Thanks for the follow up response. Like I said, at the end of my post, I really find the contributors here to be exactly that, contributors.

Peace
Peter

peter anthony PHOTOGRAPHY - Home

[Iguanasan]

Glad you made that point, Marko, as while I appreciate your point of view Peter, I believe there is more. While it may help you enjoy your life if you "drop the deadwood" so to speak, it also prevents you from being in a position from encouraging either through action or by example those who need help. Having taught karate for a few years we've had a few students who were rude and annoying when they first showed up but by leading by example and by expecting more from them than they were willing to give most would steadily improve. Had we dropped them too soon, they might have been lost. It is unfortunate that some decide the expectations are too high but we can't be all things to everyone. :(

[Bambi]

there are people that detract from your life and deserve to be gone. However, I don't think that we can only evaluate people from what they contribute to us. We also have to consider how contribute others. If we take the 'what have you done for me lately' attitude then we risk being the deadwood in someone else's life.

I find at this forum people who are rude on this forum and informed pretty quickly that this is unacceptable. they either reform or leave. which is fine.


so my advice is that before you cut anyone off make sure that you are not contributing to the negative relationship.