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Nethack - A Short Story

This is a discussion on Nethack - A Short Story within the Off topic forum forums, part of the General category; ok, so i'm a bit bored at the moment, so I decided to write a short story based on an ...

  1. #1
    PKMax is offline Member
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    Sep 2008
    Gloucester, UK

    Default Nethack - A Short Story

    ok, so i'm a bit bored at the moment, so I decided to write a short story based on an old text game that I still love called Nethack (based on rogue I think) someone might know it lol.. so here's my feeble attempt at a short story heh, kept me entertained for five mins at least lol.

    "PK, The Chaotic Human Barbarian enters the gnomish mines" booms a voice from above.

    I rub my eyes to try and adjust to the darkness inside the mines, gradually the shape of a rectangular room emerges. The walls of the room appear to be carved straight out of the rock and some are covered with a slime that I can only describe as something I'd once blown from my nose when I had a really bad cold. I can see an odd looking wooden door across the room which seems my boot is looking forward to meeting, and I can see several objects scattered around the room. Looking around I wonder if this had really been such a good idea, sure I promised that old guy that I'd find some amulet or other, but what could he do If I didn't get it, it's not like he's a God or anything.

    After considering my options of leaving the dungeon and returning to the pub and a nice pie, or certain death in a dark and a cold dungeon I decide that i'll have a little wander inside. It can't be as bad as everyone says, "Nobody comes out of there alive" my mate Joe said, but I think he's just trying to scare me, I am a barbarian after all and can't have my reputation tarnished by being called a scaredy cat.

    A dog seems to have followed me into the mines and has decided that he's going to annoy me by picking up the objects before I can get to them and running off with them, the little git, I need some rope to tie the bleeding thing up somewhere. I finally get hold of one of the objects off the dog and I quickly realise it's a potion of some kind. Being a barbarian were not afraid to simply drink any liquid we come accross, after all i've been know to do that all the time in the local pub so I down the red liquid and a voice from above booms "You feel Sick", I jump out of my skin, more worried about the loud voice that seems to be following me more than how ill that stupid potion made me feel. "Hello" I say out loud, "Is anyone there?". After standing around for a while with no reply I decide that it must all be in my head and continue towards the door to see where it leads.

    I head to the door and decide for once to try pushing it open rather than applying a swift kick, it opens easily. As I go through the door I can see a great long tunnel leading to a dimly lit room in the distance, as I head towards the room a newt jumps out of nowhere and pounces on me, I begin flailing like a nutter and swinging my sword like a madman in the hope of hitting this tiny creature, eventually crushing it rather than slicing it as I pummel it into the ground. I stand for a moment to recompose myself as a small shudder runs up my spine, "I hate newts" I mutter under my breath as I continue on my way.

    As I enter this next room I discover a big chest sitting in the corner, I run over to it eager to discover it's secrets, wondering how it's managed to survive this close to the entrance to the dungeon without someone pinching it already, I quickly shrug off this thought as I jab my dagger into the lock and attempt to force it open. *Crack* went my dagger as it broke in two, I smacked my forehead and took a step back away from the chest in order to be at maximum Kicking distance. A Careful aimed boot produced nothing more than a "Smashing" sound from inside the chest. "Arse" I yelled. After a good twenty attempts at kicking the lock it finally breaks and I swing open the chest to see what I've won. A quick glance inside reveals a tin of I guess food and some smashed glass, annoyed at lack of contents I decide this is a perfect place to put this stupid dog thats following me around.

    As i'm standing there trying to convince the dog to climb in the chest I realise that there is another doorway in this room, a very dark tunnel beyond that which does look rather un-inviting, so I decide that the dog can go and have a look to see if it's dangerous. I usher the dog into the tunnel and stand in the doorway so he can't get back into the room, grinning to myself I watch the stupid dog wander off into the dark. I hear a few noises in the distance and then for some unknown reason I begin to feel sad, it must be something I ate.

    "stupid dog" I mutter, he's only gone and buggered off, must have found a bone or some food. After yelling "Here Stupid Dog" for a while I realise that he's not coming back so may as well head into the dark tunnel to see what lies beyond. a short distance into the tunnel I start to hear some sounds ahead of me, must be that stupid dog, i'm gonna kick him when I get there. As I get ready to give this dog a good kicking a quickly realise it's not the dog, it's a pack of jackals that has just finished munching on the remains of the dog. The smile on my face quickly fades as the jackals turn on me and I prepare my sword to kill these creatures. The jackals launch their attack, but have decided to do so in single file which is nice of them, I guess the jackel at the front thinks he's cool and can take me alone. I quickly dispatch all of the Jackals, it certainly helped with them only attacking one at a time, I'll have to tell Joe how honourable Jackals are, I never realised.

    After walking along the tunnel I stumble across another room, which is a little brighter than the last room, but just as snot coated. I wander in and have a little look around, ooh another chest. I run over to the chest, but just before I reach it there is a blinding white flash "AAAAH, MY EYES" I yell, and then something starts biting me. I'm swinging my sword in all directions in the hope of looking scary enough to make whatever is biting me run away, but it's not working. A few more swings of my sword later and the biting stops and I take a moment to relax before I remember that I'm blind. "Crap" I used to love being able to see, how the hell am I gonna eat pie now. I sit on the floor sulking for a while until I realise that I can see again, weird.. I hadn't even noticed. Having a quick look around and remember where I am, I notice the chest again, do I risk the blinding again I wonder. I decide it's worth the risk after the last chest I found was a bit depressing, so I wander carefully over to the chest.

    This chest appears to open very easily, inside I find an amulet which on closer inspection looks like it's made out of carboard, there is also a bic biro. "woopdidoo" I say, as I pick up this crap outta the chest. Bugger this, i'm going to the pub. I scribble "Magik Amoolet" on the carboard amulet and decide that I'll give this to the old guy, he'll not tell the difference.

  2. #2
    tomorrowstreasures is offline Senior Member
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    Aug 2008
    Midwest - USA
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    PK- you did a great job on this! Thanks for sharing!


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